There are many brilliant people that span our globe. Talented, bright people who if they really gave it there all, could make a significant difference in changing the way this world operates. But not everybody has the tunnel-vision and discipline to stay on track with their singular idea of making this world a better place. Usually a man/woman and children get in the way. Which is just fine. It’s rare for one to persist through life alone in pursuit of greatness. But if you are one of these prodigies that can truly make a difference for all of us, and you somehow end up getting wrapped up with a spouse and kids, please, hate your family and spend all your time working on making life easier for us dummies.
I was recently reading up on Thomas Edison, one of our nations greatest inventors. He’s credited with inventing the electric light bulb, as well as the phonograph, amongst many other magnificent innovations. As I read on, I found it even more impressive that he was a horrible family man. Never got along with either of his two wives and rarely spent time with any of his six children. To this I say, well done Mr. Edison.
We rely on these masterminds to make our lives better. And we rely on these masterminds to focus on their brilliance and ignore their loud-mouthed, pain in the ass kin. ‘Cause any time Thomas Edison spent with his children, we missed out on another sweet ass invention.
Sure he gave us some amazing things, but think of what we missed out on when he spent even the slightest bit of time with his kids. You take the time Thomas spent with young Theodore, and we could have had a god damned flying car. (I know what you are thinking. Pat, the first regular car wasn’t even invented yet. Exactly. That’s how smart Edison was. He wouldn’t have even put wheels on it. “Let’s put these fuckers in the sky,” he’d say. ((Ed. note: Thomas Edison always dropped f-bombs.))) If you add up the hours Tom spent at his daughter Madeleine’s dance recitals, he could have been creating the PC and the internet.
And your saying to yourselves we already have that. Yeah, now. But he would have made it then, in the late 1800′s and it would have been hilarious. At this point, no one had seen the television, radio or even a car and here comes Edison on horseback with the world wide web on a laptop. People’s brains would have shot right out of their heads.
But I guess we still got lucky with old Tommy Edison. At least he didn’t love his wife. I mean, what if Edison married a wonderful woman that he completely adored and ended up just phoning it in. Handing in garbage inventions at the deadline just to keep his job.
Boss: “Hey Thomas, you’ve always been one of our greatest inventors. But I have to tell you, you’ve been slacking.”
T.E.: “I’m not following. “
Boss: “The last thing you handed in was a spoon tied to a candle.”
T.E.: “I created the fucking light bulb. I don’t need this.” (See.)
Boss: “Thomas, it’s the WOMAN! (While the boss in this scenario is correct, in the 1880′s everything was blamed on “the woman”.)
Few men exemplified the skill of hating their family to get ahead in life more than Ben Franklin. He’d come up with any excuse to get away from his flesh and blood, and it often paid off dearly for him. After a particularly rough patch in their marriage, Deborah Franklin asked Ben if they could possibly have an evening to themselves. “As soon as I’m done flying my goddamned kite in this lightening storm,” he replied. Now that is a progressive thinker.
