I really don’t know where to begin. Let’s start with, I would like to apologize to everyone I have disappointed and hurt. My actions from last Friday morning, the 28th of July were truly despicable, and I am deeply ashamed. While I’ll take responsibility for my actions, I want everyone to understand that I am not that kind of a person. First off, I am not a drunk. I have battled alcoholism ever since I can remember, but for the majority of my adult life I have contained this disease. I have been successful in containing that beast for the last twenty-seven years of my life and I am quite sure I will be able to conquer it once again.
Finally, I am not a sexist. By the time you read this I’m sure you will have heard about the reprehensible diatribe I went on while hollering at the police that evening. And it sickens me that one little slip up of three bottles of wine one random evening turns me into this vile-spewing creature. Let me set the record straight. The female arresting officer on the scene that night did not have ’sugar tits.’ Or she did. I don’t know. The point is I didn’t look at her chest. Why? Because I am not a sexist.
It sickens me that the words like ’sugar tits’ can roll off my tongue with such ease when the devil in the bottle has his fiery grasp of my being. I can honestly tell you I don’t ever truly remember feeling that way towards a woman before in my life. Why I’d say something that I don’t believe in puzzles me far more than it can puzzle you, good folks of the public. To all of the women I have offended, from my dear mother, to the Virgin Mother Mary, to Helen Hunt; I hope this has not tainted our relationship. I am pro-woman women.
I can’t take back what has happened. But I can assure everyone that I am not a drunk. And I am most certainly not a sexist. Got that. Mel Gibson is a fan of the ladies. Not as big a fan of the booze. Well, that about covers it all.
While I’m here, I’d like to let you know that my new film ‘Apacalypto’ will be released in the fall. It’s a film that follows the decline of the ancient Mayan kingdom. I put up the money myself. I also am going to be independently releasing the film. Those god damned heads at Metro Goldwyn Mayer didn’t think it was a good investment.
Typical.
